In 2007, I was enjoying my athletic peak and managing, just barely, not to embarrass myself while playing quite a bit with some younger and more talented athletes. One hot night I was running low on electrolytes: too much sweating, not enough salt intake. (Actually, that’s a surprising myth.5) I was playing “goaltie,” a variant of ultimate: a hard-running Frisbee sport with the same intensity and speed as soccer, but with more jumping.
Both calves spasmed on a jump, bringing me down hard. That was nasty, but it was just the start: as soon as I hit the ground, both sets of hamstrings went off as well, and all that was more than enough to make for a good cramping story … but then my abdominals joined the fray, and that gave me an anecdote I’ll be sharing for the rest of my life.
The cramping all hurt, a lot, but I was too surprised and busy to focus on the pain. If you’ve ever had a strong spasm, you know that there’s a powerful instinct and need to elongate the muscles. Stretching is your only hope of relief. But I had a puzzle to solve: just try to stretch the backs of your legs and your abdominal muscles at the same time. It’s an anatomical impossibility.
That’s me in the air at the back. Check out that vertical! It was that kind of jump that triggered a massive wave of spasms …
I jackknifed back and forth so violently that the other players wondered if I was having a seizure, but I was simply on my impossible mission to stretch both sides of my body. If I stretched the legs, the abdominals would bunch up; if I stretched them, the leg muscles tried to kill me. After about three tries each way, I realized it couldn’t be done and that my only hope was compromise: to find the least awful position somewhere between the extremes. It meant that neither muscle group would really be stretched at all — but neither would be allowed to fully contract either. I gasped “cramps! lots of cramps!” so everyone knew I wasn’t actually scissoring … and then waited it out.
Without the power of stretch, the cramps took a long time to fade. It was a long time to endure extremely powerful contractions.
A spasm is capable of injuring muscle. In this case, I was wrenching back and forth, my own muscles in a tug-of-war with each other. These were perfect conditions for injury. Something had to give, and it did — I had mild strains of all the affected muscles, resulting in not just days of soreness but severe soreness for weeks, and a vulnerability to re-injury that was still a problem a full year later.
The spasm here was the strong involuntary contraction of the muscles. The strain was the injury caused by the forces on the muscles.